Karma's Destiny
by dangerdonut
Summary: Amy had Shane to help her figure out her feelings for Karma, and now she has Reagan to make them go away. Karma has been doing this alone, and it's killing her. That is, until she talks to the girl from her english class that admits she feels drawn to her. Maybe Karma won't be so alone after all. A story about Karma's journey to self-acceptance.
1. Chapter 1

Seated in the back of her math class, tapping her pencil against the desk and zoning out completely, Karma wondered just how things had gotten so bad. Two weeks. That's all it's taken for Karma's mind to go from its normal state of mild disarray to complete chaos. Two weeks since she landed in jail with her best friend who slept with her (ex) boyfriend. Two weeks since she received a speech from said best friend that was miles more romantic than anything that ever came out of the mouth of the boy she slept with. Two weeks since she dreamed of Amy's lips on her own, her hand wandering to a place she never expected to want to explore. Two weeks. And Karma was a mess.

She had nobody. She had burned all bridges with her peers at school ever since the whole faking it fiasco came to life, and the few people she didn't piss off, well, things were complicated. Amy had distanced herself from Karma without any real explanation. Whenever Karma confronted her on the issue, Amy simply replied "I'm not distancing myself" while making the scrunched up face she always made when she's feeling cornered. Karma didn't have enough energy to confront her further. Or maybe she just felt she didn't have the right. She knew deep down Reagan didn't feel comfortable with Amy spending too much time with the girl she had been in love with for ten years, and who could blame her? It's not like she could talk to Amy about what she was going through anyways. It would just complicate things further. She felt a personal responsibility to suck it up and let Amy be happy for once.

The only person who actually _wanted_ to spend any time with Karma was the one person Karma was trying to avoid. Liam wouldn't take no for an answer, despite the fact that Karma had said no multiple times. He saw it as romantic, she saw it as suffocating. Last Tuesday he managed to find out her new locker combination and place a bouquet of flowers neatly on top of her text books. When she saw the flowers, she looked over at Liam in the courtyard to see his classic "good guy" smirk, as if a cliché gesture could make up with the fact that he slept with her best friend since kindergarten. She resisted the urge to throw the flowers in the nearest trashcan and gave him a weak smile instead, wondering why she still craved the approval of _this_ douchebag. Maybe it was because she didn't have anybody else. Maybe it was because she felt like she deserved to be cheated on. It definitely was because she still didn't feel good enough - in fact, she felt worse than ever.

Karma looked up at the clock and realized she would have to go to lunch soon, which was now her least favorite period. She had been eating lunch by herself for the past two weeks, but it seemed like a decade. Reagan had been taking Amy out to lunch, probably to keep her from Karma, and Liam had a different lunch period (which she was grateful for, she was too exhausted to ward him off for the whole period). Her scheme to become popular had backfired immensely, and she was more alone than ever. A girl in her english class had been glancing over at her almost every day with sadness in her eyes. Pity? Probably not, why would anyone feel bad for a girl who got herself into this situation?

When the bell finally rang, she made her way to the picnic tables in the courtyard. There were less people around outside to notice she was sitting alone. She was actually looking forward to lunch today, she saw her mom making her a PB&J this morning, a rare break from the kale wraps and salads she was accustomed to eating in the Ashcroft household. She smiled as she reached down for her bag, only to open it and find yet another kale wrap. She frowned when she realized her mom wasn't making the sandwich for her, and her chin started to quiver when she noticed that receiving a different lunch just ruined her _entire day_. It was the last straw. Everything was horrible. She started tearing up, desperately wanting to call Amy. She wanted to tell her she needs her, that she can't do this alone, that she's not sure what she's feeling right now and she just needs a best friend. She was seriously considering it before she saw the girl from her english class, right on cue, staring at her with that same sadness in her eyes. Karma quickly wiped the tears away from her eyes when she noticed the girl was walking toward her table.

"Rough day?" The girl asked, taking her backpack off and sitting across from Karma.

"Rough life," Karma scoffed before quickly correcting her attitude. "I'm sorry. I'm not usually this melodramatic. Okay, well I am, but yeah, rough day."

The girl sitting across from her gave a sympathetic laugh. Karma had never seen her up close before. She was blonde and had piercing blue eyes that were analyzing Karma too much for her liking. "I've been wanting to come sit with you for a while, but I didn't know if I would be intruding on your alone time. I know some people just like to be alone, so if you want me to leave just say the word."

"No!" Karma said too quickly. "I mean, no, I'm just surprised you don't hate me like everyone else."

"Hey, come on," the girl said in a serious tone. "Everyone does stupid things. It's high school. It's not like you were hurting anybody."

Karma frowned and looked down at her hands, remembering just _why _she messed up so badly. "I hurt the only person in the world who meant anything to me, and now she won't be in the same room as me for more than 5 minutes."

The girl scanned Karma's eyes for a few seconds before coming to a sudden realization. "Wait, did Amy _like_ you? She actually is a lesbian?"

"What?! No!" Karma quickly covered. The last thing she wanted to do was out Amy to a complete stranger before she was ready. "It just made her feel weird is all, you know," she added before blushing furiously.

"Oh," the girl looked down. "That's too bad. She's really cute."

Karma smirked and silently agreed before registering that this girl wanted to hook up with her best friend. "Wait, did you just come and sit with me because you wanted to hook up with _my_ girlfriend?"

"What? No!" The girl sounded flustered. "Besides, you said you guys were faking it," she said quietly, sinking into her seat.

"We were," Karma had a sharp tone to her voice. "I just thought you sat with me because, I don't know, maybe you wanted to get to know me, or something."

"That _is_ why I sat with you," the girl said sincerely. "We just got a little off topic. Start over?"

Karma let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. "Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm just, well, having a rough day," she laughed a little.

"No need to apologize," the girl chimed, realizing she may have crossed a line, just happy that Karma was giving her another chance. "I'm Luna, by the way."

"Ah, do you have crazy parents too?" Karma smirked.

"Yep, total hippies," she giggled. "Not gonna lie, the reason I wanted to talk to you is about 30% your name, 50% because your parents own a juice truck, and 20% because I feel like we're supposed to be in each other's lives in one way or another."

Karma raised her eyebrow at her last statement. "That's bold."

"Come on," Luna smirked. "With a name like Karma, you have to believe in destiny."

_A/N: I'm usually very opposed to reading/writing stories with original characters (with a few exceptions of course, see Out in Arizona). However, I think Karma really needs a (female version of) Shane to guide her through this. I'm going to develop her character and her relationship with Karma and bring Amy and Reagan into the story. Karmy endgame, of course. I just want Karma to be happy in the meantime._


	2. Chapter 2

Karma walked into Chemistry with a newfound confidence. She saw Amy sitting in the back row and instead of avoiding her, she clenched her fists and took the empty seat next to her. Amy looked surprised and slightly uncomfortable, and that made Karma's heart sink.

"Jeez," Karma gently joked, "you can't even pretend to be happy to see me?"

"What?" Amy replied, "oh, no, I just have… gas. Reagan took me out for lunch and I ate a burger the size of my head."

Karma laughed. She knew Amy was lying (not about the burger part, she knew very well that Amy probably did put down a two pound burger in the last half hour, but Amy had an iron stomach and no amount of food could ever make her uncomfortable). She decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, though, things had been rough between them. "Maybe you should eat more kale, you know, introduce something into your diet that isn't made of 70% grease?"

"Ha ha," Amy rolled her eyes. "I think eating at your house so often was the only thing keeping me moderately healthy. Now that we don't hang out-" she stopped herself and widened her eyes. It was the first time either of them had actually _admitted_ to avoiding each other. Karma looked down at the floor, all the newfound happiness from her lunch encounter was quickly seeping through the cracks. Amy had been nothing short of a wrecking ball in her life lately.

"You know what, I'm actually gonna sit up front today. Take good notes. Get an education. You know, do what I'm here to do," Karma stammered, trying to get herself out of this situation as quickly as possible before her emotions got the better of her.

"Wait, Karma, please-" Amy grabbed her arm. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." Karma sat back down, looking at Amy, waiting for her to continue. Waiting for her to apologize for all the fucked up shit that's happened. Waiting for her to apologize for distancing herself even though _she_ was the one that hurt Karma. Waiting for _anything at all_, but Amy had ceased talking and had returned to awkwardly looking at her book bag.

"What the fuck, Amy?" Karma spat out. "No, I'm not going to sit back here if you're going to continue to shut me out. You need to give me _something_. Do you not want to be friends anymore? Because if that's true then you need to tell me because I'm sick of waiting for you to bless me with your presence." It was harsh, but necessary. She saw Amy had tears in her eyes and immediately felt tears welling in hers.

"It's not that simple, Karma," Amy choked out. "You know that."

"Just tell me what you want," Karma crossed her arms, attempting to be firm when in reality she was seconds away from losing it completely.

"I want to be there for you," Amy started. "I do. And it kills me that I can't be. I saw you today at lunch. I saw you were crying and I felt so shitty because I didn't do anything. But I couldn't. I didn't know what to do. That's the problem, I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to act. I don't know what our boundaries are." Amy looked down at her hands, hesitant to say the next part. "And the more I'm around you, the more I'm afraid I'm going to fall for you again." She couldn't even look at Karma.

"Wow," Karma whispered, not sure how to respond. "But you're with Reagan, and she makes you happy, right?"

"Yes, of course!" Amy said with such certainty it made Karma cringe. "Reagan is amazing. She's kind, caring, smart, funny, and she loves me. And I love her. But Karma, feelings aren't that simple. There will _always_ be a part of me that loves you. So, yeah, in all honesty, it's dangerous to be around you right now," she made eye contact for the first time since she sat down and Karma's heart melted.

It was pretty much what Karma expected. Reagan's everything Amy needs and everything she deserves. Karma's messy. There was a part of her that was hoping maybe Amy would get tired of Reagan and confess her love for Karma… again. Karma thought that maybe, just maybe, she would take it a step further. For Amy's sake. She would try to step off the edge with her. But now she was certain, Amy wants Reagan and Reagan wants her. And Karma _still_ isn't sure what she wants and she _hates_ herself for that.

Amy continued after a long silence. "We have to ease back into spending time together. I still want to be best friends. You still mean more to me than anything, but everyone keeps telling me I need to take care of myself too, and I'm starting to agree with them."

"Yeah, totally," Karma's voice was riddled with fake enthusiasm. She was trying. She realized Amy had been through the ringer lately and her happiness was taking priority over her own and she would just have to deal with it. "I, um, I totally understand."

"Are you going to be okay, though?" Amy asked.

Karma internally rolled her eyes. _Are you fucking joking? _She thought. _Of course I won't be okay, not only are you the most important person in my life, you're the only person in my life that matters. I have no fucking idea what I'll do without you. _"Yep, totally fine!" Karma said as convincingly as possible. Deep down Amy knew Karma wouldn't be fine, and Karma _knew_ she knew, but this was the first time Amy had ever been selfish in her life. After ten years of riding the Karma train, it was time to board the Amy express. "So, I'm gonna give you your space and move to the front to take notes. Just let me know when you're ready to be friends again, okay?" Karma clumsily gathered her things.

"We still _are_ friends, Karma," Amy said almost desperately.

"Yeah," Karma said, "yeah I just meant.. you know. Alright, see ya," Karma stumbled over her words and then her own backpack and next thing she knew her papers were spilled all over the floor. She stood completely still in disbelief that _that _had actually just happened, worrying if she moved an inch she might break down completely.

"Hey, do you need help with that?" A familiar voice came from her side. She looked down, surprised to see Luna gathering up her papers.

"Thanks," Karma choked out, "what are you doing here?"

"Aren't you happy to see me?" Luna laughed as she handed Karma her papers. "I got transferred. Remember? I told you at lunch they were switching my schedule around so we wouldn't have english together anymore. I'm glad we still have a class together though," she rambled as she sat down next to Karma. Out of the corner of her eye, Karma saw Amy eyeing the two of them, clearly confused as to when Karma got a friend.

"I'm glad you're here too. It'll be nice to have someone to talk to," Karma smiled.

"Amy's still not talking to you?" Luna gave her a pained look before making two-second awkward eye contact with Amy in the back. Amy scoffed under her breath. Could they make it anymore obvious they were talking about her?

"It's complicated," Karma simply replied. Luna smiled at her and put a hand on her shoulder. She didn't pity Karma, she just felt empathy for her. She wanted her to know that someone was there for her, regardless of how well they knew each other.

"So… is class ever going to start?" Luna raised her eyebrow. "It's been like, fifteen minutes and the teacher still isn't here."

"Come on, Luna," Karma laughed. "It's Hester. It's a miracle we even had _any_ classes today."


	3. Chapter 3

Karma's grades had been dropping fast ever since she found out about the Amy/Liam fiasco. She couldn't focus on school and she certainly couldn't find the energy to do homework. Her routine consisted of going home, checking her phone and hoping for a message from Amy, finding about ten messages from Liam, and throwing her phone across the room. Today, however, she felt worn down. Her earlier encounter with Amy made her desperate for a change. Hesitantly, she unlocked her phone and read the messages from the boy who couldn't take no for an answer.

_Liam [10:01 AM]: Hey_

_Liam [11:34 AM]: Karma_

_Liam [1:23 PM]: I miss you_

_Liam [4:04 PM]: I'll be in the art room tonight. Please come see me._

_Liam [4:05 PM]: I hate where we left things._

She groaned into her pillow, angry at herself for forgiving Amy so quickly but not even being able to look Liam in the eye. Rationally, she knew the night of the wedding was consensual, and she knew they had both kept it from her, but the fact that she had been sleeping with Liam while he conveniently left out the fact that his dick had been in her best friend made her want to throw up. The fact that she was basically begging for Amy to be her friend after Amy had betrayed _her_ also made her want to throw up. Basically, a lot of things in Karma's life were making her sick, and the worst part was she didn't have anyone to talk to about it. She saw her phone light up _again_ and she was ready to throw it across the room _again_ before she saw the text actually wasn't from Liam (for once), but an unknown number.

_Unknown [4:31 PM]: Hey, it's Luna. Sorry if this is weird, but I got your number from Amy during study hall. I'm totally lost with this chemistry homework, turns out your class is two weeks ahead of mine._

_Unknown [4:31 PM]: Could you help me?_

Karma couldn't help but smile. Since when did anybody go out of their way to contact her, even if it was just for homework help? She quickly responded (maybe too fast).

_Karma [4:32 PM]: Haha yeah, no problem. You could come over if you want?_

She sat there staring at her screen for what felt like forever. Was asking her to come over too bold? Maybe she just wanted to do it over the phone. Oh god, what if Luna thought she was weird? Or clingy? Or-

_Luna [4:34 PM]: You're a life saver! Address?_

Oh thank god_. _Karma quickly sent the information and added she could come over whenever. She started picking up her room, not wanting Luna to think she was a total slob.

_Luna [4:36 PM]: You actually live pretty close. I'm just gonna walk. Be there soon._

* * *

><p>"So your mom is… interesting," Luna smirked. Unfortunately, Molly had gotten to the door before Karma and immediately began unintentionally interrogating her.<p>

"_What a beautiful name Luna is! How did you two meet? Are you girls just friends? This is an accepting household, if you two girls are dating-" _and that was how far she got before Karma yelled something about being a normal mom for once and dragged Luna up to her room.

"I am _so_ sorry about that," Karma covered her face. "She still hasn't recovered from the fact that I'm not actually a lesbian."

"Don't worry about it," Luna smiled. "Better than being homophobic, right?"

"That's true. I feel guilty for complaining. She could be like Amy's mom who still can't accept-" she stopped herself, remembering that Amy hadn't exactly come out on her own yet.

Luna's eyebrows shot up. "She DOES like girls! I knew my gaydar wasn't broken. That's amazing."

"Shit, Luna, you can't tell anyone. I don't know if she wants people knowing, and this is a huge mess, and I really can't take her hating me anymore than she already does, and-"

"Hey, relax," Luna rushed to calm her down. "I wouldn't out anyone under any circumstances. I was just happy because, well…"

Karma furrowed her brows. "Because why?" she asked firmly.

"Because she's really attractive," Luna finished, wondering why Karma was starting to give her a death glare. "Didn't you say you're not into her?"

"I'm not." Karma said with more malice in her voice than she'd expected. "I'm straight."

"Okay," Luna backed off, suspecting that this situation was far messier than she originally expected. "So, chemistry homework," she started taking her books out of her backpack. "I don't really understand titration-"

"What do you mean, gaydar?" Karma interrupted.

"What, like, being able to tell when people are gay?" Luna looked at her confused.

"Yeah, like, how do you get one?"

"What… what do you mean?" Luna wasn't able to contain her laughter.

Karma crossed her arms and sat down on her bed, annoyed she was being laughed at. "Never mind. Forget it."

"No, god, I'm sorry!" Luna sat down next to Karma. "Listen, I've been kind of obnoxious since I've gotten here. I don't know your situation. And I don't know Amy's. We don't have to talk about it. I mean, unless you want to. No judgement, I promise."

Karma eased up. She wasn't used to someone actually caring. "It's just… you were able to see that Amy likes girls right away, and I couldn't, and I've been her best friend for ten years," Karma said quietly. "I'm such an idiot. No wonder she doesn't want to see me anymore."

"Hey, it's okay," Luna reached for Karma's hand to comfort her. "I'm sure it's more complicated than that. Isn't it?"

Karma choked out a laugh. "You have no idea."

"Can I take a guess?" Luna asked.

"Sure," Karma looked at her, wondering where she was going with this.

"Amy fell for you, but you didn't feel the same way. Or at least you think you didn't, or you felt pressured, or something, and she was coming on strong. So, it didn't work out between you guys. And now she probably can't be around you because she's in love with you. Am I in the ballpark?"

"Holy shit," Karma looked shocked. "I mean, there was some other… messy stuff, but you got it right for the most part. Are you psychic?"

"No," Luna laughed. "Let's just say I was in a similar situation."

"Oh," Karma looked down. "I'm sorry she didn't feel the same way."

"Actually," Luna smirked, "I was the Karma in that situation."

"But..." Karma trailed off, confused. "Aren't you gay?"

"Half," Luna looked indignant at the assumption. "But I didn't know it at the time."

"How did you find out? You know, that you were bi, or whatever."

"I gave it a shot," Luna shrugged. "I had a boyfriend, but we were having problems, and I was sick of the way he treated me. So, I told her I wasn't sure, but I wanted to try."

"I'm guessing it didn't work out," Karma said sadly.

"No," Luna looked down. "No, it didn't. We were just too different. But it really opened the door for me. Before, I thought I was completely straight, totally into dudes. Now, I think I might actually like girls more. I just really like both," she laughed. "She thinks I left her because I'm straight. I don't think she can accept the fact that we were just at different places in our lives."

"Wow," Karma squinted. "So, it's really over between you two? Forever?"

"Who knows?" Luna asked. "We both had our issues. She was really hung up on the fact that I might leave her for a guy, even though I told her it wouldn't go down like that. When she found out I started dating my ex a few months after we broke up, she lost it and cut off all contact with me."

"Now you're not even friends?" Karma looked worried.

"Nope," Luna shook her head sadly. "I have no idea what she's up to now or if she's dating anyone."

"That's rough," Karma squeezed her hand, grateful that Luna was opening up to her. "Does she go to our school?"

"Nope, she's older. She graduated about a year ago."

"She's going to college?"

"Nah, that was never her thing. She's really into music, I think she DJs clubs around town."

Karma's eyes shot wide open. "What did you say her name was, again?"

"Oh, I don't think I did," Luna realized. "Her name is Reagan."


End file.
